First it was a shortage of chips. Which is fine, because they weren’t talking about potato chips. But it has left shortages of many other products. Now they are talking about a shortage of turkeys.
Honestly, I think this is probably all fake news. I think the story is being spread by the turkeys themselves because they want to keep their little heads firmly attached to their delicious little bodies. It could also be an excuse to raise the price of turkeys, just in time for Christmas.
But instead of coming up with conspiracy theories, which I find quite amusing and has become somewhat of a hobby, we have been talking about possible alternatives. I mean, what if we can’t find a turkey for Christmas dinner?
My mother mentioned they never had turkeys when she was growing up. They would cook up a couple big hens. Mostly because they had a yard filled with chickens at that time and running out to pick up dinner had nothing to do with jumping in the car and heading for a takeout. It meant walking out into the back yard with a sharp object hidden behind your back and asking one or two of the little critters gathered there if they would like to come for dinner.
But that’s not going to work. We don’t have chickens in the back yard. I did spot a couple crows the other day, but they are a bit small, and also, crows are smart. They would spot the sharp object and be out of there.
We have had other things for Christmas dinner over the years. There was the year of the goose. I remember it well. Mostly because I was convinced the house was on fire. Geese seem rather… well… I don’t really want to call them fat, but they have a lot in them. And when they cook, it tends to splatter. For some reason, we decided not to put a cover on the roasting pan. The sound of splattering grease was very entertaining. The house full of smoke was decidedly less so. Goose could be an option, but that thing has got to keep a lid on.
There have been a couple lobster years. I like lobster, and it was very tasty and all. But you don’t tend to serve lobster with fifty-three different vegetable dishes, plus dressing and gravy. So it’s just not the same. It lacks that falling asleep under the Christmas tree stuffed to the gills and a bit beyond feeling.
There was also a year when we had corned beef and sauerkraut. My father loved sauerkraut. He didn’t buy a small container from the grocery store. He bought a five gallon bucket of the stuff every year. It was kept in the garage. And with that much salt in it, would never freeze. It was not unusual to see him walking into the house after pulling his car into the garage to see him stuffing a handful of shredded pickled cabbage into his mouth. But since we had a five gallon bucket of the stuff, it wasn’t really special.
But there are options. If turkeys want to make themselves scare, they can be replaced. They might want to keep that in mind.
